Waste Madness: Taxpayer Choose the Best of the Worst

Posted by MaryAnn Hussey
06 April 2022 | Blog, Waste of the Week

For the past two weeks, our supporters have been watching the Elite 8, then the Final Four. Now, at long last, a champion has been crowned! Nope, we’re not talking about college basketball. We’re talking about White Coat Waste Project’s inaugural WASTE MADNESS tournament!

Each week, taxpayers across America have voted on which experiments are the most wasteful and most ludicrous (mis)uses of their tax dollars.

With so many wasteful experiments to choose from, narrowing the field to 8 contenders was very difficult. Nevertheless, after an agonizing selection process, here were our initial 8 contenders:

$6.76 million to make mice depressed, dose them with psilocybin, decapitate them — and conclude the experiment by saying white coats “cannot measure mouse moods.”
Would you waste $4.5 million to discover what it might sound like if a macaque proposed? No? Too bad; the NIH already wasted your money.
Half a million dollars wasted watching chimpanzees look at themselves in mirrors…sounds SUPER crucial. Except not at all.
$1.7 million ‘gobble gobble’ gobbled up by the NIH and NSF, studying how fast turkeys walk, and whether wild or domestic turkeys walk faster.waste Madness Champion
$1.1 million to make a vaping ‘hot box’ for rats…after wasting $16 million addicting them to smack, nicotine, and THC.
If it can move, it’s going on a treadmill, and you’ll pay for it — that’s what government white coats believe, and why the NSF wasted $1.5 million of your money-making mudskipper fish ‘run’ on treadmills.
waste Madness $3 million of your money was, ahem, “hard” at work studying an ‘herbal male contraceptive’ in monkeys…and filming them getting busy.
$9.9 million — part of which was wasted putting white coats in leopard costumes, so they could scare monkeys…19 separate times.


Before we announce the winner, we’d like to give a shout-out to the LOSERS: government white coats who approved these ridiculous experiments, the experimenters themselves, and the animals who were harmed or killed in the name of “science.”

Of course, the biggest loser in this entire racket is US taxpayers, who are still forced to pay over $20 billion/year for animal experiments, despite the fact that a majority of Americans, regardless of political affiliation, oppose them.

Without further ado, the winner of our inaugural WASTE MADNESS tournament is…

waste Madness Champion

A 2018 study received four different grants, totaling $1.7 million, from two government agencies, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and the National Science Foundation (NSF), and set out to answer THE BIG QUESTIONS: specifically, how fast do turkeys walk? Do domestic turkeys walk faster than wild turkeys?

Maybe they should have asked: does anyone care?

What makes this even more hilarious is that this wasn’t the government’s first taxpayer-funded turkey trot. These questions have been studied for almost a decade!

(Just so we don’t leave you in suspense: turkeys run at 6 miles per hour; domestic turkeys are fatter than wild turkeys, so they run slower).

Read more about how the NIH and NSF ‘gobble gobble gobbled’ up your money here!

If you missed out on the voting, we’re sorry, but next year’s WASTE MADNESS will be here before you know it.

Meanwhile, don’t miss out on any more news and updates from us — sign up for our mailing list today! 

Blog Comments

What an unbelievable, stupid waste of money. K am outraged that tax dollars are used for these idiotic experiments followed by the killing of animals. I’d like to see an non-taxpayer funded experiment. What would happen to these people if they were starved? Maybe they would think about what it means when there are elderly citizens who have done without, food, shelter, and see see what kind kind of idiots are wasting our tax money. How about putting these abusers in a cage without food of water, do idiotic experiments on them, and let’s see who smartens up about wasting money.

Unbelievable that our government is wasting al TJ’s money on these BS experiments, when
There are people who can’t buy gas, groceries go to doctors, et al.

Stop the Torture and Killing

Is why do this anyway we need money for shcool.

Oh these emails just make me sicker and sicker every time I see them I don’t know how much money it’s gonna take to stop these evil people I don’t understand how animal abuses is illegal but because they have a white lab coat when they can do it and get away with it they should be in jail

Leave Animals Alone

Unjustifiable animal cruelty funded by our tax dollars.

I am also a strong supporter of The Physicians Commitee For Responsible Medicine, as I am for this critical cause.
As a previous long time employee in the laboratory arena, I have witnessed horrors that are burned into
my retinas, and also my own years of having PTSD due to having seen the “hidden truths” lurking behind all unnecessary, prehistoric, animal research which in no way benefit humankind, as professed by these monsters.
Because of the extremely rampant, self serving competition in the field of research for the sole purpose of being able to publish the results of their animal research results in order to obtain more monies to be awarded for their future inhumane, unnecessary, ( which yes, we are paying), and
inhumane research projects using defenseless animals as their subjects.

Why do we allow such vile and despicable human beings, under the guise of “science,” practice abusing, torturing and/or slaughtering animals?

We should be ending these human a-holes’ lives quickly, so as to save animals!

Does anyone in our government ever check on what those horrible, sadistic people are doing to the animals? What about when Fauci and hie do-workers in the earlier years did testing on children and other adults of lowerl intelligence. This was when the AIDS WAS GOING AROUND.?????

This is a huge waste of tax payer money!! It could and should be used for animal welfare….

I think Im going to apply for a million dollar government grant to see if the dandelions in my yard communicate after sunset! Good Grief!

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