Uncle Sam forces you to pay $15 billion in taxes – that’s billion with a “B” – for wicked and wasteful experiments on animals.
Every. Single. Year. Whether you like it or not.
So, just in time for Halloween, WCW has compiled a list of the top 13 government torture devices you bought … drum roll, please!
According to the Journal of the American Association for Laboratory Animal Science:
“An animal is hand-caught and placed into the plastic or metal tube, which encases the body’s trunk to hold the animal in place.”
Another torture textbook says:
“Restraint tubes allow easy weighing and bleeding of juvenile or African green monkeys … they severely restrict any animal movement.”
We’ve all said it: exercise is torture.
But could it actually be used as a government torture device?
Well, several sadistic “scientists” at the Dept of. Veterans Affairs are cashing your checks to find out:
“The dogs are surgically implanted with pacemakers and put on treadmills to test cardiac function. They’re forced to run until they collapse.”
Your bill? $50,000. (PAYOUT #101602002)
Even we were surprised by this one.
Here’s how the National Institutes of Health (NIH) wastes $16 MILLION of your money to cripple a primate:
Did you get your money’s worth?
It’s a simple concept: ram a metal or plastic choke collar around the victim’s neck.
This way, it’s easy for bureaucrats to gently escort her from her cage around the laboratory.
One lab sales catalog puts it like this:
“Through positive reinforcement, primates quickly learn their role in handling procedures and become participates rather than subjects of them.”
This diabolical device locks under the fully conscious monkey’s chin, around her arms, and binds her into place. Restraint bars are bolted to her skull and electrodes are forced into her brain.
As a manufacturer boasts in its sales catalog, this chair:
“Prevents the animal from raising its arms above its shoulders …the Waist Plates are designed to prevent the primate from having access to its lower body.”
But that’s not all … optional à la carte customization includes footplates to electro-shock the soles of her feet.
All this can be yours for the low, low price of $6,275!
Forget the new AirPods Pro. This season’s hottest import from China may just be the rhesus macaque!
Well, primates don’t grow on trees. But don’t you worry…
Today’s bureaucrat goes directly to the source: baby monkeys are ripped away from their mothers in the wild and thrown into cheap sacks.
Destination? The taxpayer-funded lab. Daily Mail:
“The young monkey reaches desperately into the cage where his mate is trapped, pawing in confusion at her soft fur. She has been lured by a juicy piece of sugar cane, and a trapdoor has slammed shut behind her. Trappers rush through the jungle towards them and the male bares his teeth, but he’s forced to flee. His mate screams as she’s grabbed by the tail and shoved into a sack.”
This victim’s cage has two compartments and a door separating them.
First, the floor on one side is electrified. As the victim receives an electric shock to her feet, she jumps through the door. Then, the floor on the other side is electrified.
Back and forth, the animal “shuttles” to avoid painful electric shocks. Sometimes both sides are electrified simultaneously so the victim can’t avoid being shocked!
As one catalog boasts, this product:
“allows aversive stimulation to be delivered to either side of the chamber floor, at different times … thereby ensuring that the repeatability of the electric shock is maximized. The time duration of the electric shock is also adjustable.”
Yes, it’s actually called the “guillotine.” No, it’s not from the era of Marie Antoinette, Robespierre, and Napoleon.
As written by the manufacturer:
“The decapitator cuts cleanly and quickly through bone and tissue.”
This particular vendor charges you $893.
On April 15, taxpayer-funded “White Coats” party like it’s 1789!
Do you recognize this? You should, because you bought it. It’s called a stereotaxic device.
Government bureaucrats use it to restrain a victim’s head.
As written by the manufacturer:
“Its superior rigidity, large frame bars and precision bearing surfaces assure absolute alignment of laboratory animals for indefinite periods of time.”
“Adjustable infra-orbital clamps and a vertically adjustable tooth bar prevent rotation of the skull. Adaptor is suitable for use with beagles, mongrels of Beagle size and Macaque monkeys.”
Science Magazine says each costs you $7,215.
Will that be cash or credit?
These aren’t ordinary office scissors.
When only the best will do, you go with fine German engineering (paid for with your American tax dollars, of course).
You see, today’s well-heeled bureaucrat on the public dole just can’t be bothered to listen to cries, howls, and whimpers.
So puppies are often de-barked — i.e. their vocal cords are cut out — with these sadistic scissors.
One textbook on torture methodology explains how:
“Use long-handled Metzenbaum scissors and remove as much of the vocal fold extending into the laryngeal lumen as possible.”
Truly, in a government laboratory, no one can hear you scream.
In Washington, wasting your tax dollars is an art form.
Over the past quarter-century, the NIH doled out over $6 million to forcibly addict monkeys to heroin, cocaine, alcohol, and other recreational drugs.
This boondoggle received $365,574 in 2019 alone! (Payout #R01DA007315)
What happens if you manage to survive taxpayer-funded torture?
Well, lazy government bureaucrats usually can’t be bothered to retire and release lab survivors. It’s a lot easier to burn them like trash!
Consider: at taxpayer-expense, USDA’s Kitten Slaughterhouse executed and incinerated over 3,000 healthy kittens.
Over, and over, and over again. Repeatedly. For 50 years … right into government incinerators.
The world’s largest spender on animal testing isn’t big cosmetics companies.
It’s not Big Pharma either.